In the wake of the school shooting on Friday I really had no desire to write a blog, my heart still aches for everyone involved. The teachers, the students, the families, and the rest of the community in Newtown. Strangely my heard aches for the shooter, he obviously was suffer from a mental illness and I have to assume he was feeling a great sense of hopelessness. I grieve over the fact this young man isn’t all that rare. The extremes he went to are rare, but his hopelessness isn’t rare at all. We, along with our kids are living in a time of great wealth and opportunity yet they go through life feeling a sense of disappointment and sense of hopelessness. I believe this to be the case largely because we have promised too much, we have put our hopes and their hopes in the things of this world and the reality checks our kids get when they become young adults is many times too much for them to handle.
When I was a kid the movie “Top Gun” came out and I wanted nothing more than a fighter pilot. I spend many hours pretending to fly planes, studying about every plane the military uses, and wishing I had some Ray-Ban aviators. I realized that, over time, most fighter pilots aren’t big guys, they are good at math, and have good eye sight. Well if you know me at all, you know I don’t fit any of those criteria. Thankfully I put two and two together and realized on my own that I wasn’t going to be a fighter pilot and moved on to other things. The problem I often see is that we have filled or kids with promises and hopes we cannot guarantee will come true and even if they do there isn’t a guarantee of happiness and fulfillment. Careers, money, sports, being in a band, buying a beautiful house, getting married, doing well academically, having kids and so on and so forth are great but there all bring false hope and don’t guarantee happiness. As Christians we believe that the Lord is our source for hope and fulfillment. We should daily be reminding our sons and daughters. For those of you who grew up in the Reformed Church you need only be reminded of what the first Question and Answer of the Heidelberg Catechism says:
Question 1. What is thy only comfort in life and death?
Answer: That I with body and soul, both in life and death, am not my own, but belong unto my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ; who, with his precious blood, has fully satisfied for all my sins, and delivered me from all the power of the devil; and so preserves me that without the will of my heavenly Father, not a hair can fall from my head; yea, that all things must be subservient to my salvation, and therefore, by his Holy Spirit, He also assures me of eternal life, and makes me sincerely willing and ready, henceforth, to live unto him.
Our Hope comes in the Lord!! Our Hope comes in the Lord!!
One last thing, if your child is struggling with depression, anxiety, bi-polar disorder, or any other mental illness please make sure they get the proper help. I know in generations past mental health was ignored and not treated but we know today that all these things are illnesses. Just like when you have a sore throat or a reoccurring stomach aliment you go to the doctor. Well mental illness typically means your brain isn’t functioning properly, and medical expertise is need to correct things. Please don’t hesitate to get your kids help if you suspect mental illness is a problem in their life.
Last be sure to hug your kids and tell them you love them, no matter their age, it is always good to know your parents are there for you and love you.
Standale Reformed Parents 